Two Years

I did not want to close my church, but…

This weekend marks two years since I preached the last message at Hope Chapel Red Lodge; a ministry I planted and led as pastor for twelve years. This was on the heels of 8 years of licensed pastoral ministry at another church in Billings MT. So basically for twenty years I was bivocational-working full time outside the church while serving in a formal ministry posistion whithin the church.

So to suddenly not be doing that was a major life change for me and my family. First let me say that I did not want to close my church. That decision was made, ultimately by my Lord, and by those in authority over me. The Lord knew I had completed my assignment in Red Lodge and those over me recognized that I was exhausted physically, spiritually and emotionally–I just could flat not go on.

These past two years have been an adventure all in their own and I am grateful for it. I got to build and just recently moved into my new home. Spending my spare time working with my hands alongside my wife, and often times daughters and son in laws, was a blessing in that it was a great time of reconnecting and relationship building. I had spent many years devoting all my evenings and weekends to the church, often times in a small office staring at a computer screen as I prepared for the ever coming Sunday, so to be outside using the tools of my other trade, construction, was thereaputic in may ways.

But that’s not neccasarily what I wanted to talk about today, although it sets the stage. Since I stopped preaching every weekend I have had the opportunity and pleasure of visiting many churches from many backgrounds and denominations and even in multiple states. I have fellowshipped in everything from KJV and hymnal worship only churches, to jump and shout spontanoius worship, slain in the Spirit healing services, to small time “I can barely play this guitar but I can make a joyful noise” churches, to laser light show, rock concert professional polished productuon churche–and many in between all those.

And I enjoyed and was (and continue to be) blessed by every single one of them because they all have two things in common; people who love Jesus and are hungry for more of Him, and pastors who love Jesus and his people.

I have a heart for the pastor because he, or she, has a responsibility and a burden that no one, unless you have been there, can ever understand, and it can be a heavy one. There are joys, immense joys, at seeing fruit being born for the Kingdom as those you love and invest heavily into grow in their faith and become true disciples. But there is also immense heartace when you see them struggle and even turn away or against you and worse, their God. With great love comes the potential for great heartache.

But my greatest concern for the pastor is the exhaustion that I know can come like a freight train when it seems there is no stopping it short of a crash. Exhaustion that can come when you try to live up to everyone’s expectations and discover, to their great dissapointment and yours, that you cannot. Exaustion that can come when you try to do things in your own strength instead of His-when you get ahead of Him. Exhaustion that can come when it seems there is no one to help you and you are all alone.

Exhaustion can come from working too long thinking that next year will be different-you will be able to let go of your secular job and focus on the ministry-maybe even get some of your life back. Exhaustion can come when it seems you can do nothing right and people come at you with theological corrections, disapointmenents, letters of rebuke or just plain leaving you with no explanation.

Church is messy–but vital, and so are pastors.

So please, take care of your pastor! Love them, honor them, be patient with them-share your joys and victories, help when able. Don’t pretend you know what they are thinking or assume that they are fine. Spend time with them as a freind and a brother or sister. PRAY for them and support their ministry with your resources of time, talents and money.

On another note; perhaps the days of traditional church as we have known it are past. Perhaps we have put too much on our leaders and given too little. Perhaps we have churched the Holy Spirit right out of out house of worship and programmed out Jesus–perhaps we have killed too many pastors and quenched too long the Spirit of truth.

Perhaps I’m wrong and we just need to get back to church and throw open the doors to Jesus and let the ‘Spirit blow where it will as we hear the sound of it and know not whence it comes or wither it goes’ -just that we want to be in the midst of it. “So it is with all who are born of the Spirit” John 3:8

Are we ready for that? Are we ready to let Jesus be the Good shepherd, are we ready to hear and obey His word, are we ready to let the Holy Spirit be our teacher, advocate, couselor, comforter–are we ready to be convicted unto repentance and open our hearts fully to Him? Untill we are, we are all in jeapordy of falling away and taking our pastors with us, and missing our own callings. Too many judges, too many spectators, too many comfortable christians.

Lord, lead me on. I am your humble servant.